In many cultures, marriage is a short ceremony. In Bhaaratam (India), weddings are elaborate not for spectacle, but because life itself is honored through Samskaaras — purifying rites. (Part 1 of this series explored why marriage is not an isolated personal choice; it is a social and spiritual responsibility. In this part, we explore the wedding rituals of this author’s daughter.)
From conception to death, every major transition is sanctified:
- Birth
- Naming
- First Solid Food
- Education
- Marriage
- Death and Post-Death Rites
Marriage is not a contract; it is a consecration.
A Living Example: My Daughter’s Wedding
On July 6th and 7th, 2025, my daughter was married at a heritage venue called Panchavati in Bengaluru, Bhaaratam. What unfolded there was not merely a wedding, but a layered education in relationship.
Day One: Preparation and Protection
The morning began with Vratam — observances performed separately for the bride and groom, traditionally marking readiness to enter household life. In ancient times, students studied with the teacher in Gurukulams and performed Samaavartana upon returning home. Today, though formal Vedic education is not common, the Samskaara remains deeply relevant.
For the bride, Pratisara Bandha (Kankana Dhaarana) was performed — a sacred cord (Sara) tied to the wrist, symbolizing protection and commitment to complete the sacred act without disturbance.
Then “Re-Commitment” took place when once again, consent was given by both families for the wedding.
The morning ceremony was kept small, almost private, reminding us that relationship begins in quiet commitment before public celebration.
After lunch, the ceremonies opened to the wider community.
Community, Visibility and Celebration
The “Mendhikaa” (Mehendi) ceremony took place under a beautifully decorated tree. Using paste made from natural Mendhikaa leaves, women and some men adorned their hands in celebration. It was joyful, earthy and communal with plenty of snacks to eat.
This was followed by the “Welcoming the Groom” procession — traditionally a public acknowledgment, allowing society to witness and validate the alliance. In earlier times, this functioned as a social safeguard. In our case, with four musicians accompanying us, it became a vibrant procession around the venue, with dancing, laughter and shared joy.
The evening concluded with a “Cultural Program” — what is called Sangeet in northern Bhaaratam — where both families sang, danced and celebrated together with solo and group performances on a well-decorated stage, followed by a grand communal dinner.
Day Two: Symbolism and Sacred Union
The wedding day began with Kaashi Yaatraa, a symbolic moment where the groom pretends to renounce worldly life and walk toward Kashi. The bride’s father requests him to stay, offering his daughter in marriage. It is playful, philosophical, and deeply symbolic — highlighting choice, responsibility and commitment.
The couple then participated in “Dolotsavam” (Swing Ceremony), symbolizing balance and rhythm in married life. Relatives from both sides threw colored rice balls around the couple in all four directions to ward off evil, and milk and banana pieces were offered for a sweet start of the married life.
After this was the “Garland Exchange,” where the couple garland each other repeatedly in a fun way by getting lifted in air.
The Heart of the Wedding: Vivaaha
The central ceremony, Vivaaha, literally means “to carry away” — signifying the transition into a shared life. Fire (Agni) is the witness, because fire transforms and purifies.
Key moments included:
- Kanyaa Daanam — the bride’s father offering his daughter, honoring the groom as Vishnu, the protector
- Maangalya Dhaaraṇam — the tying of the sacred thread around the bride’s neck by the groom
- Paaṇi-grahaṇam – the clasping of hands (of the bride by the groom)
- Saptapadi — the seven steps that legally and spiritually bind the couple
With each step, blessings are invoked — for food, strength, auspicious Karma, happiness, prosperity, harmony through seasons and shared sacred duties.
After the seventh step, the groom declares:
You have walked seven steps with me. You are my friend. We must remain as friends.
I will not part from you. You must not part from me.
Let us think alike, act together and remain united.
I am heaven, you are earth.
I am mind, you are speech.
This is not a vow of possession. It is a vow of friendship.
Another powerful Samskaara (purifying rite), Ashma-aarohanam, has the bride place her foot on a millstone (Ashma), symbolizing firmness and resilience. She is reminded to stand strong in the face of challenges.
Post lunch, the ceremonies continued with Nalangu, a lighthearted, playful interaction between the couple — a psychological test allowing them to compete with each other and easing them into companionship.
Then, a Reception event took place where friends and families could come one by one, meet the couple, exchange words and have photographs taken with them.
This was followed by dinner.
Relationship Beyond the Rites
What emerges from such a wedding is not merely a married couple, but a relational ecosystem — between two individuals, two families, society and the unseen divine forces of life.
I was especially moved that Elleyne Aldine, founder of the cultural identity magazine hosting this theme, was present to witness this wedding. She did not just attend a ceremony; she experienced a worldview — one where relationship is sacred responsibility, not casual convenience.
A Mother’s Perspective
As a mother, watching my daughter step into marriage was not about giving her away — it was about witnessing her step into responsibility with awareness. In that moment, I was not losing a relationship; I was watching it evolve with deep fulfilment and motherly pride.
Marriage, when approached consciously, does not sever bonds — it expands them. It creates a web of relationships that must be tended with humility, patience and respect.
In Closing
In a time when many feel culturally unanchored, understanding relationships through ancient frameworks can be deeply grounding.
Marriage, in the Bhaaratiya sense, is not about losing freedom. It is about growing into responsibility with awareness. Not about perfection — but about walking together, consciously.
In a world where relationships are often optimized for convenience, the Bhaaratiya vision reminds us that relationships are practices — requiring presence, patience and purpose. They are not meant to be easy; they are meant to make us better. And perhaps that is the deepest relationship lesson of all.
