London-based Dating Expert Olivia Charlet worked with CultursTV to list her five top tips for romance. Through her education, experience and many clients, she’s come up with a list of five simple activities that can romance into your life this year. So what do you have to lose? Try something new – when it comes to love, all is fair.
Shake things up in your love life this year. Be proactive about love by making small changes to your normal routine, so the bigger changes we want to effect automatically come as a result. Here are Charlet’s top tips for love:
1. Go on a date with someone who is not your ‘type’. After several years of dating and being in relationships, we often think we know who we will be attracted to. And sometimes we even limit ourselves to one type of person: an extroverted artist type or the quiet intellectual. Or we believe and say things like, “I only date guys that are taller than me.” The ironic thing is that you often speak to partners in a couple and they say, “I was never attracted to shorter guys and then I met my current partner (who is shorter) and we fell madly in love.” Ask someone out who doesn’t fit your ‘type’ or tick all your boxes.
2. Change watering holes. Try a new venue. Have you been going to your favorite watering hole every Friday night? How about trying that new bar on the other side of town? Often different venues attract different people. Why not give something else a shot? You might be surprised whom you meet. And while you’re there, why not try a different drink instead of the same old glass of white wine?
3. Get out of your comfort zone. As creatures of habit, we often stick to the same thing day after day. We go to the gym on Wednesdays. We have dinner with friends on a Thursday night. We go to that brunch place on Sunday with friends. When was the last time you forced yourself out of your comfort zone? When we take ourselves out of our comfort zone, we have to stretch ourselves to learn a new skill. It also means that we’re in a different physiological and psychological state. Say you try out rock climbing on a Saturday afternoon or you take that German class you’ve been meaning to take in the evenings. Not only will you be challenging yourself and working on your own self-growth, but you may meet someone without meaning to because you’re in a different environment and a different state of mind.
4. Be open to making new friends. You know those friends you have on Facebook? What about the old school friends you know live in the same city as you? Sending an old acquaintance a message and grabbing a cup of coffee with them could lead to a fun afternoon. And you never know – if it leads to a friendship, you could end up meeting a brand new group of friends through that person. Remember that each acquaintance you have on Facebook or LinkedIn has a social circle. This could expand your network and potentially lead to your next fling…or more.
5. Change your mind-set about when and where you can meet someone new. We often tell ourselves that certain times and places are the right place to meet someone. But actually, anytime and everywhere is the right place. And if you change your way of looking at it, you could potentially start meeting someone whilst waiting for the train, in the airport, on your Sunday morning stroll in the park. Anywhere. To start doing this, get used to saying something to strangers. For example, if you’re in a coffee shop in a queue, you could ask someone: “Sorry, do you know if they have soy milk at this café? I’ve never been here before.” Or if you’re waiting for a train, you could ask the person standing next to you: “Excuse me, do you happen to know around how much time it takes to get to the next station?” Even if they don’t know the answer, the majority of people will still be happy to try and help. It’s all about getting the ball rolling. You’ll see how easy it gets once you open yourself up to others around you. And you might be surprised when they ask you for your number right before you get on that train!
Charlet reminds us to make something new happen this year. Don’t let yourself make excuses. It’s up to you to make that first change that eventually will make a difference.
Culturs.guru is a global multicultural philanthropic brand that brings lifestyle content to liminal identities – populations that are “culturally mobile,” and represent “hidden” rather than “visual” diversity. This includes cross-cultured individuals, Third Culture Kids and multi-racial and multi-ethnic persons whose lives are punctuated by “straddling” of different cultures during their formative years. For more information, visit www.Culturs.guru.
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