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Preventing a lifetime of loneliness

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Loneliness1I must be attracted to the depression my phone brings me every night because no matter what, I’m going to check my social media before I go to bed. I know I’m not the only one. Lying in bed I scroll through app after app seeing all the “happy” people and everyone is having just the “best” time.

It’s all fun and games until I see my friends have gone out without inviting me, and they are having the best time, obviously because I’m not there. I’m being dramatic, but it’s a real bedtime “ruiner” when stuff like that happens.

Spoiler alert: It will never go away. It happens in preschool when someone doesn’t want to play with you because another someone has a cooler toy. It happens in high school when you don’t get invited to some party for whatever reason. It happens at work when your coworkers go out to lunch without you. And it happens when your friends go to play Bingo without you because old age caused them to forget your number. It will never go away, but the feeling will.

While trying to find a cure for my nighttime-left-out-blues, I turned to the Internet. WikiHow gave me the best results, which is a reliable source because there’s probably a doctor behind it, right? Either way, I found that sometimes the most basic advice is the most helpful. Let me share:

  1. Be realistic: Everyone feels like this from time to time.
  2. Look honestly at the situation: If you’re new to the area, they probably don’t know you that well. Invite them Make an effort yourself, but make sure that these are the people you truly want to be friends with.
  3. If you already know them and used to fit in, that’s different: Make a choice as to how important this friendship is to you. If it’s really important, let them know how much you care. Share your feelings. If it’s not important, let it go. Find a new group of friends who won’t leave you out.
  4. Smile: Right now. Do it. It feels so good.
  5. Try not to read too much into being left out of a situation: Your friends at Bingo didn’t invite you because they didn’t like you but because they simply forgot. This can happen at any age. Give people a break.
  6. Find something to do: Distract yourself so you don’t feel sad. Since I’m already on my phone, I’m going to switch to Candy Crush.loneliness3

Also, it’s okay to be alone! Go on a drive. Drink some lemonade. Do anything! Find what works best for you, and stick with it. If you were to choose to be happy or to be sad, wouldn’t you want to choose the first?

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