Everybody assumes that, if you’re mistreated, you’ll speak up. Staying quiet makes no sense, right? But what people don’t take into account is that, in some cultures, you’re taught to stay quiet. How do you speak up if your own family thinks that talking about the incident would bring them shame? In some communities, the idea of elder abuse doesn’t even come up because nobody wants to admit that it happens.
This kind of silence is not just about denial, it’s tied to deep cultural values – protecting family reputation, showing absolute respect for elders, and avoiding public conflict at all costs. These values can be meaningful, but they also create the perfect conditions for abuse to slip under the radar, especially in nursing homes and care facilities.
You can have all the rules and laws you want, but if people stay silent, none of that matters. The question is, what happens when culture keeps people quiet, even when someone’s safety is at risk?
And, more importantly, what does it take to finally break that silence?
Cultural Norms and Silence Around Elder Abuse
Based on multiple sources, the number of reported abuse/neglect cases in nursing homes across the U.S.A. is quite concerning, to say the least.
| City (State) | Annual Reported Cases (in 2023) |
| Los Angeles, Calif., U.S.A. | 8,000+ |
| Chicago, Ill., U.S.A. | 3,817 |
| Phoenix, Ariz., U.S.A. | 17,575 |
| New York City, N.Y., U.S.A. | 7,407 |
These are some examples to showcase the grim state of things. While in Phoenix, almost 20,000 reported cases show a shocking reality, it is quite more concerning that in Chicago, there are only about 4,000 cases reported. Now, whether we’re looking at a much better quality of facilities in Chicago compared to Phoenix, or there are many more unreported cases in Chicago, it’s hard to say. The truth is that it’s very complicated.
Regardless, if you’re a Los Angeles nursing home abuse lawyer, the 8,000+ cases will present quite a burden because these cases need to be dealt with ASAP, because every day counts. It is the residents who are suffering, and if the justice system is too sluggish, the torment is unfortunately prolonged.
The problem is, a lot of it doesn’t get reported. In many cultures, openly talking about abuse (especially within the family) is seen as betrayal. In places where family honor carries heavy weight, like East Asian, Middle Eastern, or some African communities, bringing up problems like elder abuse can be seen as airing dirty laundry, so how is this going to impact the family name?
If you admit that something is wrong, you’re risking judgment, gossip, and sometimes full-on social exclusion. Even if the abuse doesn’t happen at home but in some kind of institution, families might still decide to keep quiet because they’re scared of getting blamed for ‘letting it happen’.
In some cultures (especially those influenced by Confucian values), there’s another layer to this – the concept of “saving face.” Respect and appearances come first, and conflict resolution? Second, third or nowhere to be found on the list of priorities. This means that families won’t report abuse because they want to keep up a strong front.
Then there’s the cultural respect for elders, which, on the surface, seems like a good thing. And if it often is, but that deep respect can also lead to denial. In communities where elders are seen as wise, strong and untouchable, how do you admit that they were mistreated?
Sometimes, the elders themselves refuse to speak up because they’re used to sacrificing their comfort for the good of the family or enduring mistreatment because they believe it’s their role.
How to Break the Silence
Here’s what might help break down the walls around elder abuse in certain communities.
1. Speak Up in Ways That Feel Familiar
If you want people to listen, you have to speak their language – literally and culturally. This is why effective campaigns are built with specific communities in mind and they’re shared through familiar spaces like churches, ethnic media and cultural centers. With native language and relatable stories, the message about elder abuse can feel personal instead of distant.
When people hear it in a way that reflects their values, they’re more likely to act on it.
2. Train Care Workers to Catch the Quiet Signs
Staff that work in nursing homes care for residents from all kinds of backgrounds, but they may not be trained to recognize how culture shapes behavior. What seems like silence or stubbornness could be a quiet call for help. This is why training with real-life examples helps; it can teach the staff to spot cultural cues and avoid making assumptions.
3. Make Legal Help Easier to Use
The legal system is already confusing and when you add a language barrier to that, it’s almost impossible to find your way around it. The fix is pretty obvious – offer legal services in the language the client speaks. It builds trust and makes it easier to talk about sensitive issues.
4. Start the Conversation at Home
In immigrant or traditional families, generational gaps can make it hard to talk about topics like aging or mistreatment. But open conversations are key and helping families talk about elder care expectations can break the taboo.
When young people know what signs to look for, and older adults feel like it’s safe to speak up, abuse becomes much harder to hide.
Conclusion
Real change starts at the dinner table, not in a courtroom. Although staying quiet can feel easier, how can we protect people who once protected us if nobody is willing to speak up?
Silence doesn’t keep the peace, it just keeps the problem and if we’re not prepared to ruffle some feathers, elders stay mistreated and traumatized.
